simplicity

Its weird just to sit and wonder what life would be like if it was just so simple... simple? haha i dont even know what that is... im suppose to be thankful for all that i have, and for what i dont go through... but honestly i stick to the advice that God never gives someone something they cant handle... so i guess that means everyones strongwilled if they want to be... but the stronger i feel, is the weaker i feel on the inside. Why cant life just be so simple? And why cant anything for once turn out? I know we have been down that road, You know the road of dissapointments. Well i think mines kinda hit rock bottom. Even though im weak right now i'll manage to stay strong. Even though at times i feel alone i'll manage to be by myside. Do u ever look at a room full of people and feel like u have no clue who anyone is anymore, when there the same exact people who u've been friends with for many years and have so many memories with? That's how i feel... i mean u live up the good times, but what if it's not the same? Nothings simple right? Im not afraid of change, untill it's me that's changing and how can you be who you are when everyone'a used to the old you? Simple to you maybe, but not for me? Im so lost, with a simple problem thats not quite so simple. It's frustrating being "Kayla" & i just want to be known as who i really am. Ive been staying busy tho, to keep my mind off of things. It's helping but when im alone it hits me. I do it to myself but ill just deal with it i mean im not going to be here much longer, what 2 yrs? and thats not that long. i dont maybe it's simpilar than i think it is? now since i have time to sit down and think about things ive realized what i want to do about, to be quite honest i really dont know where i was going with that, but with shawn were friends and i think im cool with it... simple as that huh? not really but im not gonna be a hater... so cheers to that? i dont kno. i honestlly coulda tell u right now, my minds kinda blocked with alott... but i think im gonna go.. the less i think about things the better..this was cool... i like this... is was deep..cya around...loves